You can’t swim in the air. In case you were wondering.
I mean, I was confident this was the case before, not that I’d thought a lot about it. I’m desperate now though, so I tried it a few times and nope. It doesn’t work. Neither does trying to jolt yourself bit by bit towards safety, especially when you reset back to the middle every time you hit the ‘ground.’
Historically, I’m not a dress wearing girl. Good for running in but they snag on everything. I wish I was today though. I’m sure one of them would make a passable parachute, or a rope, or something. More material to play with, see?
The most impact I’ve had on my aerodynamics so far was when I held my green coat over my head like a wing. Seemed clever at the time, but I just ended up spinning head over heels for several resets and got so dizzy I gave myself a headache.
I am currently just vanilla falling. It’s not fancy but it does the job.
When you appear to be caught in some kind of endless falling loop, your mind goes strange places. For instance, for a while I suspected I was falling through different but very similar dimensions. This was an alarming thought because:
- That might mean there’s a bottom dimension and therefore an impending, sudden splat that could happen at any moment.
- If I did get out of the cycle, I might find myself in a world where everyone’s exactly the same, except they’re slugs.
- There may be a countless number of other Shoos plummeting above me who would all land on me when I finally impact onto a huge pile of my own corpses.
- Every dimension I fall into would be one dimension further away from home.
Eventually, I concluded I probably wasn’t falling through dimensions after I pulled something out of Daisy’s random pocket (a set of wind-up teeth on little plastic legs) and threw it onto a ledge. It was still there every time my fall reset itself. So, either I wasn’t falling through dimensions, or they were all so similar that I’d never notice the difference anyway.
That whole mental journey kept me occupied for a while, but now I’m back to boredom-falling again. It could actually be dehydration or starvation that finally does for me. A death simultaneously dull and dreadful.
You know the universe is out to get you if your own death is tedious.
And I need to pee.
I could pull my trousers down and just go for it (a dress would be easier, another tick in the dress column there), but I suspect I would end up tumbling in a shower of my own water which my clothes would quickly soak up. Yes, it’s my pee, but that’s still icky.
Optimistically, I’ve decided to hold it.
Rocks blur monotonously past.
I should have wound up the key on those chattering teeth. It would give me something to look at as I’m falling. Instead of rocks.
For a few resets, I have a cry. Though it feels like I’m indulging myself somehow, so I dry my eyes on my sleeve and instead try screaming savagely.
Ooo, now that feels good. It feels right. I grin to myself, also a bit ferociously but, gods, what does it say about me that going savage feels natural? I stop grinning and fall in despondent, introspective silence.
Which is no fun.
In attempt to shake that mood off, I do some lazy somersaults. Unfortunately, I spent an hour or so earlier doing aerial acrobatics. It was enjoyable until it wasn’t. It hasn’t yet gone back to be fun again.
I return to silent, bored, irritable plummeting.
If I purse my lips…
Will I be able to do, like, a reverse whistle?
Like an innie-whistle.
I give it a go…
No, I can’t.
Or maybe I can but it’s too quiet to hear.
I stifle a yawn.
Oh, my days, all these rocks are so samey!
Especially when they’re all speed-blurred.
Though I do have a favourite ledge now. It’s that bumpy one over there with a bit of red moss growing on it. Brave little moss, clinging to life. You go, girl!
I giggle briefly at the idea of girl moss. For a few resets I can hear my giggle echoing back at me. I have quite a creepy giggle it turns out. Nice to know.
This fall is bad for my self-esteem.
After I don’t know how long of falling…
I fall asleep.